He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
