Fuck appropriateness.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
