i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
everyone is single if you try hard enough
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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