i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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