There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
