About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Randomize
