Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
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