Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
