you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
