if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
