Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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