Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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