Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I will die if light touches me.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
