My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
