I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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