Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
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