and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my being single is dangerous.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
