where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
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Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
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Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
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