I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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