She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
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