I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
He? As in you personified your dick?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Randomize
