i permit you to call me
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
