I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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