help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
