You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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