K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
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