You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
