i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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