i just wanna soil my oats bro
She said her name was "party"
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
