i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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