you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
