On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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