I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
