and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
My butt remains clenched, sir.
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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