absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
