Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
