i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
