GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Randomize
