I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
