So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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