i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
