Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
