oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
