I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
