i just had sex bonerless
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
