One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
