I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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