You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize