Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
he just fucked me for my cheese..
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
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