I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
