you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
