Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
