I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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