he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
