accomplished twins. life is a go
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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