JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
