ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
