I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
it's like iHOP with fire
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
