I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
