i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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