I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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