Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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