if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize
