Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
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I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Randomize